Okay.

Im ready to write.

My mom passed away when I was eight.

My grandma, her mother, always looked out for us.

She was our refuge.

My grandma taught me a lot about people and life through her example.

She always said "everything looks worse at night."

She helped me see the good in people.

She always helped me realize that things weren't always as bad as I thought.

She was always willing to help me reach my goals and dreams and supported me in everything.

She never judged.

She only loved.

I knew of her testimony of the Savior and she never had to tell me.

She was a comfort to me.

A joy.

My angel.

She was a beautiful connection to my mother. 

And I hate losing that.

Above all, she gave me a new view on death.

Taught me that it could be beautiful.

Without suffering.

When my mom passed away I was one of the last people in the room with her. 

Her death was traumatic for me.

And still is.

My grandpa, my moms dad, passed away two years ago from cancer just like my mom.

My sister and I found him dead.

His death still haunts me.

For 15 years I have had a certain view on death.

My grandma changed that for me.

She gave me one last gift.

I was in the room with her holding her hand when she passed away.

Im so grateful to her for that.

She did a good job.

She was so brave.

She was so beautiful.

She is so lucky to be with her loved ones.

She taught me that death can be beautiful.

That it truly is not the end.

My husband has been amazing at helping with the kids while I have been running around busy with this and that in preparation for her funeral.

Im so lucky to have all that I have.

I haven't even began to grieve the loss of this beautiful person.

It will come.

But for now,

Im okay.