Seems so strange.
Even to type that out.
I don't want to write this post.
What I want I don't always get these days.
I want to curl into a ball and not get out of bed.
But my husband has to work and babies need to be fed and taken care of.
Im numb then Im upset but mostly numb.
And mad.
Im so mad too.
Im waiting for the storm.
I numb out and then it will hit me.
I just wish it would hit me.
She was 86 so of course it was not a surprise.
She hasn't been doing well for a long time.
She hasn't been herself for a long time.
My grandma was more than just that.
She was and is so special to me.
She was like a momma to me.
A friend.
Never let me down.
Never disappointed.
Always helped me look on the brighter side of things.
Always helped me see the good in people.
I don't want to be quiet about what has happened.
But I don't want to write this post.
2 comments:
Hey baby... I love you. Thank you for being brave enough to share your feelings, it makes me feel like it's okay for me to as well. Maybe tonight? I felt like I had to let people know but didn't want to bear my soul. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone in this. She was much much more than a grandma and deserves us letting people know how deeply this has affected us and how deeply she will be missed. 86 or not it hurts. It always hurts when you lose someone as caring and as important as she was. I love you. Keep writing... and most of all keep remembering how special you were to her and know you never let her down either.
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